American Idiot Presents: Mean Girls
by entwined-in-a-web
Summary: The cast of American Idiot spoofs the popular movie Mean Girls! Features all characters and cast members. REVIEW PLEASE!  Thanks to Liz for the idea and Twinsie for the brainstorming!


**A/N: So we had an epiphany today. Mean Girls: AI Edition!**

**Cast is as follows:**

**Cady: Extraordinary Girl**

**Aaron: Tunny**

**Regina: Heather**

**Janis: Whatsername**

**Damian: Johnny**

**Gretchen: Aspen Vincent**

**Karen: Libby Winters**

**Jason: Jimmy**

**Kevin Gnapoor: Will**

**Mr. Duvall: Billie Joe Armstrong**

**Ms. Norbury: Adrienne Armstrong**

**Cady's Dad: Mike Dirnt**

**Cady's Mom: Brittney Cade**

**Coach Carr: Tre Cool**

**Regina's Mom: Claudia Suarez**

**Students: Ensemble Members**

**Hope you enjoy! Will be putting more up eventually, but it's way too much to write at once.**

**Thanks to Twinsie (AKA Whatsername01) for helping me brainstorm but then losing it all to fucking Yahoo chat…**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AI, or Green Day, or Mean Girls!**

**Here's the link to the cover!**

**http: / twitpicDOTcom/3vk3t0**

**(PS DOT is a . and fill in the spaces)**

Mike Dirnt: Ok, so…*tearing up* Time for you to go to *bawling* REAL SCHOOL!

Brittney Cade: It's ok, dear…

Mike Dirnt: JUST GO!

EG: Dad, stop it…people are staring.

Brittney Cade: GO BEFORE YOU GIVE YOUR FATHER A HERNIA!

EG: Ok….

***in school***

EG: So being the new girl kind of sucks. We used to travel all over the place because my dad was in a band and-

Wallace: Are you talking to yourself?

EG: IT'S NARRATION!

Wallace: Uh-huh….

EG: So I was homeschooled. We finally decided to settle down in a nice little town in California.

Wallace: *to others* Seriously. She's talking to herself.

EG: My name is Cady.

Wallace: Do we look like we care?

EG: JUST SHUT UP, ASSHOLE!

*bell rings*

EG: *goes to sit down*

Whatsername: Don't sit there.

EG: Wh-?

Johnny: Leslie McDonel's boyfriend sits there.

EG: Oh. *goes to sit behind Declan*

Whatsername: Don't sit there either…

EG: *moves*

Declan: *turns around* Assholes…

Johnny: Oh my God. Is that you're natural hair color?

EG: I…um…

Johnny: *grabs her head* See? This is what I want to do with my hair.

EG: Ok…

Whatsername: That's Johnny. He's almost too gay to function.

Johnny: That's only ok when she says that…

EG: And you are…?

Whatsername: Just call me Whatsername. Ok?

EG: Alright, then…

*Enter Adrienne*

Adrienne: Ok! Hi class!

Billie Joe: *runs in* THINK FAST! *spills coffee*

Adrienne: Dear, did you pour coffee on me?

Billie Joe: Fuck no. Why would I do that?

EG: Is this for real?

Whatsername: Uh-huh…*rolls eyes*

Billie Joe: I just came in to fucking congratulate my best buddy's kid for coming to fucking real school. Where are you, Caddy?

EG: It's Cady. Like Katie.

Billie Joe: Ok! Well, I'm fucking out of here then! Oh, Adrienne, your shirt is see through.

Adrienne: Yeah….thanks.

***later***

*in the hallway*

Johnny: MOVE! PART THE RED SEA! Etc…

EG: So…would you consider us friends?

Whatsername: if you'd like, Caddy.

EG: It's Cady.

Whatsername: I'm gonna call you Caddy.

EG: Ok…that's fine too.

Johnny: *eyes widen* HOLY FUCK! *pulls down poster* THEY'RE ALREADY ADVERTISING THE SPRING FLING! I'M LATE!

Whatsername: It's September, Johnny…

Johnny: I know! But I have to beat those bitches! I WILL BE THIS SCHOOL'S NEXT SPRING FLING QUEEN!

Everyone: *confused glares*

Johnny: I mean king.

Whatsername: Wow, Johnny Cakes, you really out-gayed yourself.

Johnny: Thanks…HEY!

Whatsername: So what do you have next?

EG: Uh…health.

Johnny: I know where that is!

Whatsername: in the back building.

Johnny: In the back b-? *gets elbowed in the chest* Oh yeah. In the back building.

EG: ok. I trust you guys…

*they walk out to the football fiels*

EG: Where's the back building?

Whatsername: It burned down after Billie Joe got drunk one time.

Johnny: Fucking awesome.

EG: Oh…But wait. I'm skipping?

Johnny: Don't worry, Caddy. We got your back.

EG: Really?

Johnny: Ye-! OH MY GOD!

EG: Thanks, Johnny.

Johnny: Plastics!

Whatsername: Eew. Look away before you throw up.

EG: What are you talking about?

Whatsername: That clique right there. See the brunette one? That's Aspen Vincent.

EG: Ok.

Whatsername: She knows everything about everyone.

Johnny: It's creepy.

Whatsername: The little blonde one? That's Libby Winters.

Johnny: Dumbass.

EG: Who's that?

Whatsername: That is the face of the devil. Heather Daniels.

***cutaway sequence***

Alysha: Once, Heather Daniels punched me in the face. It was awesome.

Theo: She met John Stamos on plane and he told her she was pretty.

Chase: I hear she does car commercials. In Japan.

***back to real life***

Johnny: She's a total bitch. Like she started this rumor about Whatsername that-!

Whatsername: JOHNNY! Please…

Johnny: Sorry…

EG: And that was the first time I saw Heather Daniels.

Johnny: Are you talking to yourself?

EG:…

***at lunch***

EG: *walking*

Heather: Oh my God. You're new.

EG: Yeah…

Heather: Sit down.

EG: No thanks…

Heather: SIT!

EG: Yes ma'am. *sits*

Heather: So your dad knows Billie Joe?

EG: Uh…yeah…

Aspen: That is just, like, so totally fetch.

Heather: What is fetch?

Aspen: It's a new word…from…England.

Libby: So…if you know Billie Joe…why are you here?

Aspen: Honey? Just stop before you hurt yourself.

Libby: *nods*

Heather: Oh my God….um. What happened to your head?

EG: What do you mean?

Aspen: It looks like a lawn mower ate it.

EG: Oh….um…

Jimmy: *randomly popping up* Hi. I'm conducting a lunchtime survey for new students.

EG: Ok.

Jimmy: Is your muffin buttered?

Guys: *snicker*

EG: What?

Jimmy: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?

Aspen: You were supposed to call me last night…

Jimmy: Well…c'est la vie.

Heather: Jimmy, you're not wanted here.

Theo: NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY JIMMY! *huggles him*

Jimmy: Dude…you're embarrassing yourself…

Heather: *to EG* Do you wanna have sex with him?

EG: No…

Heather: Ok. That's settled. *looks at watch* I'll be back…

Aspen: So…see any cute guys?

EG: Well…one…there's this guy in my Calculus class. His name is Tunny-!

Libby: No!

Aspen: NO! Tunny's Heather's ex. Friends just don't do that.

EG: Friend?

Aspen: Well, yeah…if we're gonna be friends you've gotta play by the rules.

EG: Really? Um, wow.

Libby: On Wednesdays we wear pink!

Aspen: So don't let us down.

EG: I…um…I have to go to the bathroom…

Libby: We'll come with you!

EG: Uh, alone.

Libby: Oh. *watches her leave*

Aspen: She probably needs some Cady time.

Libby: *nods*

***in the bathroom***

Whatsername: They asked you to WHAT?

EG: Sit with them.

Johnny: *laughs*

Leslie: Eew! What are you doing in the girl's bathroom?

Johnny: I AM A QUEEN!

Leslie:….

Johnny: Go run….

EG: I dunno…Heather seems….sweet.

Whatsername: She's not sweet! She's a life-ruining skanky whore-bitch!

Johnny: Emphasis on the whore-bitch.

Whatsername: She's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives,

EG: Well, why don't I like…you know…spy on her?

Johnny: Caddy has an idea!

Whatsername: That…that might just work….

Johnny: Mwuahaha. We're so evil.

EG: But I need to find something to wear tomorrow. Do you guys have anything pink?

Whatsername: *disgusted* No.

Johnny: YES!

EG: Well, ok then. Tomorrow we begin. And I was prepared for anything that came my way.

Leslie: Are you talking to yourself?

EG: JUST GO AWAY!

**A/N: Tada! Johnny Cakes is love.**

**Reviews?**


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